Good morning internet! Well it’s been five months since I last posted, lots is new. My last post talked about how I couldn’t really feel my RA and I thought I was taking big meds for nothing… little did I know my RA was a tiger waiting in the tall grass for an opportunity to pounce on it’s prey.
I spent the better part of January and February in and out of doctors appointments, emergency rooms and hospitals, I could barely walk. I ended up going in for surgery March 8th to try and do some clean up and repair my meniscus. Well it couldn’t be saved and he had to remove it all together.
The first month after surgery was fabulous. I even started working out again on my elliptical but it has been slowly getting worse since then and I’m back to hobbling around with more pain than I had before. My surgeon wants to do the knee replacement asap but I’m so scared. This is a pretty huge surgery. Go to sleep with a sore knee and wake up with a 10″ incision, 40 staples and still a sore knee doesn’t sound like my kind of time at all!! To be honest I’m chicken. I was nervous for the Arthroscopic surgery and I had three stitches when I woke.. this is MAJOR surgery with a few days stay in the hospital even. Nope… I’m not afraid to admit that just the thought of it makes me dizzy.
I asked my surgeon how will I know when I’m ready for this to happen, all I know is I’m for sure not ready right now. The surgeon told me that everyone’s max is different. What I may be able to tolerate may be someone else’s max. He said when you’ve hit your max, come see him and he will do the surgery. I am pretty sure I’m closer to ready now than I was before, but definitely not ready yet.
Does one ever mentally prepare for something like that… I guess there are two ways to look at this.. you can get lost in the surgical details and look at this as a partial amputation where they cut out your knee and bore holes in your bones and insert an implant…blah blah… details… OR you can decide that you’ve had enough and the road to recovery is long but there is an end. Every day I wake up with either or both views. It’s a tough one for me to wrap my head around.
What I do know is this, I’m VERY tired of having a sore knee. I don’t know what happens next.. I have three doctors appointments between now and June 7th… i’ll keep you posted.
Until next time friends,