Number Of Options Left = #0

Good morning. Today my mind is heavy. I have many things racing through my head this morning. Like a horse track one thing creeps in front of the other but just for a minute, then something else is in the lead and over and over again.

I went to my surgeon yesterday evening. I get there and of course, in true doctor fashion he is running over an hour late. This gives me plenty of time to study each pre and post surgical patient sitting in the waiting room. Most are in casts or braces or slings of some kind. Being an orthopedic surgeon the inventory of his waiting room makes sense. Of all the casts and stitches in that waiting room one lady walked in on a fresh breeze with a smile on her face and she scared me to death. At the front desk I heard the words “hardware removal from right ankle May 12th” she replied “you bet”. It was all fine and dandy and I was admiring her handbag and how she seemed pleasant without a limp or cast of any kind, until she turned around…. this lady had a very fresh incision that started mid shin, travelled down her right shin to the base of her foot, then down under her ankle and around to her heel. It was being held together in most places by a very new, thin layer of skin but still looked very…… fresh. Not gonna lie, I almost passed out!!! I started to have labored breathing and I felt hot and cold and shaky… oh gosh here it comes, I’m going to faint. The sight of that huge incision which must have had at least 40 staples just removed made me very unwell.. then she got up and moved seats since the sun was beating on her back…. I narrowly averted quite the situation.

So my name gets called and I hobble into the back room. I’m sitting in the chair beside the bed, because the bed makes me feel like I’m sick.. I’m not sick, I’m just loosly held together right now. So the Dr comes over and his first words were “Hi Mrs. MacDougall how is that knee doing…. WOAH!” So the woah was when he actually looked at my knee, it’s pretty huge!! So huge in fact that I can’t wear jeans that don’t have stretch to them right now… and I don’t do skinny jeans, I’m 36! Anywho back to our conversation… it went something like this;

Dr – Well that is the biggest knee I’ve seen all day. What is going on there?

me- Not too sure, it was good for a month. When I was here last time it was regular size and I was walking fine and all was wonderful in the world.. then BAM… it insploded (I make up words all the time FYI)

Dr- Well Mendy unfortunately there isn’t a whole lot I can do for you. The reason it did this is because the anti-inflamitory and cortisone injections I gave you during surgery wore off, and wore off pretty fast at that.

Me – So what do we do?

Dr – Well we can go down the injection road for another while if you’d like. You can have a cortisone injection that will last you 30 days as this one did, and you can get that every three months… no sooner. Or we can maybe discuss the fact that you may be young, but this knee is done and it needs to be replaced. Those are your only options at this point. Its a very big and very serious surgery, recovery is long and hard, but worth it. After surgery every day gets a little better where as now, every day only has the potential to get a little worse.

This is when I started to cry, because I’m a big girly mush full of estrogen and frustration and tears…lol

me – Dr. I want this to be over. I’m done. Let’s do it.

So that’s what happened yesterday. Yesterday I decided it’s time to replace my knee…. and I’m TERRIFIED!!! I have to call today to make an appointment to discuss the in’s and out’s of this surgery.. I’ll keep you posted.

Until next time friends



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