What Am I Waiting For…..

So since the whole knee fiasco I haven’t taken my RA meds… I know I know I should.. but they make me tired the day after I take them. So I push them out further and further until I put myself in this position, not having taken them since September. I know right… it’s awful. I feel ok though. Sometimes I feel like I’m taking these big huge meds for something that is imaginary. I can’t see it, most days I can’t feel it. I SHOULD take them because of internal organ damage and blah blah I know … but I should also eat healthier and exercise daily and not drink wine… but guess what….. ūüėČ

I have an appointment tomorrow with my Rheumatologist and he’s going to FREAK! Not only have I not been taking my meds, I haven’t been going for my monthly blood tests either. I think he’s going to yell at me. I’m nervous just like when you know you’ve done something wrong at school and your teacher called home… you know you are going to get in trouble but you can’t stay away forever… it’s your home. I know I should go back on my meds… but I don’t. I’m not sure what I’m waiting for…

Anyway i’ll let you know how it goes tomorrow. I will need my cortisone shots again soon so maybe he can just do them there in the office so I don’t have to wait in emerg to get them done. But maybe he will say, Why bother, you don’t seem to care…. who knows..

Until next time.



Pain In The ……. Back.

So this weekend we (a bunch of girlfriends and I) celebrated my birthday which was on Thursday past.¬†There may or may have not been wine present, and I may or may not have drank an entire bottle to myself. It was fun, from what I can remember…

The point of this post is this, my back hurts again. Just like it did when I first had my kidney issues a while back. My back and lower left abdomen is cramping quite a bit today. I wonder if I have another infection? That would be crazy since I JUST got over one. I don’t know if it’s my kidney’s that are sore, or is it day #2 of my wine hangover? Either way, ouch… But not what you would expect with kidney stones.. maybe they are different for different people, but it’s not terrible, just uncomfortable. Like a period cramp but in your back… maybe that was a bad comparison but you get what I mean, it’s not awful screaming pain that I can’t handle… it’s ok-ish.

Has any of my fellow RA warriors experienced multiple infections from a bogged down immune system? I am so tired of being sick. I feel ill all the time. I am getting to the point that I don’t like to tell my husband what ails me today, because there is always something. I’d love to be healthy… my RA doesn’t really bother me that much, it’s all the little things you get with RA that I’m having trouble with…

I’m feeling a bit frustrated ….

Until next time friends..



Taming The Knee-O-Saurus!

So ya… that Durolane (synvisk) injection was the worst decision I’ve ever made. Worse than cutting my own bangs (off)¬†when I was 7 with the kitchen scissors, and even worse than going on a blind¬†date with my BFF’s boyfriends¬†friend in grade 11 because he was lonely. This injection is top 2 on the worst decisions I’ve ever made in my life. I’ll save #1 for another post.

After my injection my knee was HUGE and I mean it. Probably grew to three times it’s normal size. I guess my body attacked the fluid and created more fluid and swelling.. it was crazy. I called my family doctor when it wouldn’t bend anymore… I know, I know, I should have phoned earlier,¬†but when you are at the specialist for on reason or another every week, you try and avoid going if you don’t REALLY have to go.

So I love my GP and think she is pretty amazing, problem is, so does everyone else.¬†It’s super great to have a GP or family doctor as we call them here in Canada, but if you can’t get an appointment for a month or two that does me zero good….¬† So when sitting on the toilet was aided by my husband, I called the urgent care at the hospital a few towns over and asked to speak to the doctor that was on call.. As shocking as this is, they actually let me speak to him… I told him my story about the injection and my GP and how I can’t bend my knee anymore and I’m about to try and drain this stuff out myself. He told me to come down and they will see what they can do. Lucky for me they had my ultrasound and x-rays on file and could pinpoint where the fluid was building up…

So I got to the urgent care and I was taken directly in the back where I met my new favorite person in the whole world. This doctor told me to bite down on something because he wasn’t able to freeze me and he was going to stick big needles under my kneecap, with the first draw of that needle 25cc’s of fluid came off my knee, I felt immediate relief… it was fabulous… as he took the tube off the needle full of my fluid and put another one on, the pressure from all the fluid in my knee squirted him in the shirt… it was everywhere squirting from this syringe all over the place, on him, on the table on the floor… it was yellow and thick kind of like cheap maple syrup. By the end of this ordeal he took 65cc’s of fluid off my knee and I could have cartwheeled out of that place….

The next day I get a call to come back into the urgent care because there was a problem with my fluid results, apparently my knee was infected.¬†The inside of my body, my bones were infected.. I figure the only¬†way that could have happened was from the initial Durolane injection.¬†The fluid in my knee showed high levels of white blood cells so I returned for blood work. They grew some kind of culture which showed them I had to be on IV antibiotics for several days… that SUCKED!!! A LOT. They left the IV in my hand and sent me home every night. It was awful to try and sleep with and burned all the time.. I ¬†had to go once a day for an hour for my IV because they gave me this pill to shut my kidney’s off… That way my kidney’s wouldn’t filter the medication before it had a chance to work it’s magic.. (You still with me here?) So after the IV treatment was done, the kidney turn off pill had wore off so you’d think I was good to go right? Well that’s a big Negative!! My kidney’s were overloaded so I got an infection, that turned into a stone, so more meds and more antibiotics…


So the long and the short is, my infected knee joint caused a kidney infection, the kidney infection caused a kidney stone, the stone caused a urinary tract infection, which I’m still working on… Good Gravy, I’m ready to turn myself in for a newer model….

Anyway, I’m falling apart, you’re falling apart, let’s all just fall apart… But my chin is up and I’m in good spirits because I get to have CAKE this week… 2 sleeps until my birthday!!!!!!!!!!!! xo

Until next time friends .

A bag of potatoes

I’ve officially lost 10 lbs. That’s one bag of potatoes. I’m excited and motivated and encouraged to try my best to keep moving. My knee is getting a little worse everyday but I try my best to do what I can, when I can. I’m excited. 

I have to admit the first week off sugar I had major withdrawals. I had a three day headache and I was a wee bit crabby but my family was patient and understanding. I’m proud to say I’m two weeks off sugar and I feel good!!!! 

I’m patiently waiting for my dr to continue the process in getting this knee of mine a little more mobile. Apparently removing this Durolane injection will do that, so that is what our next step is.

Anyway I’m going to take my dogs for a hobble and bake something for my boys.

Have a fantastic day everyone


No Sugar Added

So this past week has been amazing in my fight against sugar. I’m totally proud of myself. Although my mobility is restricted because of my knee-a-saurus, I managed to stay as active as I can and lost 5 lbs. that’s a big win in my books. I’m feeling motivated and determined. 

I had my ultrasound on my knee and I get the results from a nurse on Thursday because my Dr is away. I can’t see her until Sept 14th. I hope we can get the ball rolling to have this Durolane removed. My knee is still very big as my joint rejected the Durolane and it caused a bakers cyst which makes it very hard to bend.

Getting dressed and using the toilet is quite challenging but I’m managing. 

This morning I was up before the sun due to stiffness from laying still so I decided to make my day productive. I guess I had two choices, be a potato for the day or get my butt moving and make the best of these extra hours. 

Yesterday my son (12) performed at a local vendors market singing and playing his ukelele and we had a blast but standing that long made me pretty sore, hence the 6am wake up today. 

I guess the bonus to having RA ( if there is any at all) is that the more I move, the better I feel which motivates me to keep moving. Even the length of time it took me to sit and type this out made my shoulder stiff and sore. My stiffness forces me to stay busy. I can’t even sit still long enough to watch a movie these days.

Well it’s time to take the dogs for a hobble. I hope you all have a fabulous Saturday!



Today it happened. This morning was the best morning I had in a month… I got my own sock on. Now most of you may think this is the most ridiculous thing you’ve ever heard but do you know what this means? My knee actually bent this morning. I don’t know if it is the lack of sugar making my swelling reduce, or if it’s the exercise or my knee is finally getting better, but I’m going to keep doing what I’m doing and see if this is a slow progression to maybe regaining a bit of mobility. Whatever it is, I’m so excited!

Last night my son made dinner, he is such a little cutie pie. I’m trying to teach him some life skills so hopefully one day he can be classy and romantic and cook his partner dinner. Also so he can help around the house with laundry and dishes and these kinds of things. OR he can actually manage to live on his own and clean up after himself. There are so many of my younger cousin’s (I have LOTS of cousins) girlfriends or boyfriends¬†that will come over for a meal and confess they have no idea how to cook. I don’t even know how they survive. Have you ever tried eating out three meals a day, it’s $$$. So with my son, who is only 12 I’d like to lay down a foundation of life skills that he can carry into his early adulthood. Once a week he makes dinner… it’s not always fancy but that’s not the point. Last night we had chicken breast with saut√©ed mushrooms and oven baked perogies.. He did a fantastic job!!

While we were having dinner cooked for us, we decided it was time to remove the furniture from our bedroom and vacuum and dust. Wow, the dust bunnies under there were amazing… As a working mom I can’t say that every night I come home and clean until bed to get everything that needs doing done… Unfortunately I’m human, I have an auto-immune disease and sometimes even when I have free time and feel good, I don’t want to! My house is tidy and clean but there¬†are always¬†chores that¬†I get¬†behind in, if I have all the laundry done then that means the floors need washing, and if they are both done that means the beds need to be stripped, I’m sure you all have the same story!

Sorry I veered off there for a second, ok so we got that all organized and dust free and it feels so good. I love checking something off the list that has been on the list for weeks. We also got out the dogs crates and although they don’t have doors on them anymore, we made the puppies sleep in there last night so I wouldn’t wake up so much during the night because I am stiff and cant’ move. Maybe that is why the knee feels so good today… The puppies were not impressed and kept trying to sneak in bed in the middle of the night, but a 130lb dog can’t really “sneak” into bed when he has to jump to get in it… he almost bounces me off when he gets on…

Tomorrow is the day I hopefully get this stuff sucked back out of my knee, to be honest I’d be lying if I¬†said I wasn’t frustrated with this whole thing… I need a little break from being stiff and sore… I’d love to have a whole week of fully functioning bits and bites… Maybe someday…

Oh I almost forgot, I discovered these babies last night. I found myself in the snack aisle at the local grocery looking for something snacky but not terrible… has anyone ever tried these??



Well until next time friends.



Ultrasound #3

12540872_10156406866855484_4943573761019572831_nGood morning my friends. Monday morning is upon us and let me just tell you how excited I am to start a new week. I live in Canada, so every Monday morning I treat myself to a coffee from Tim Horton’s.. mmmmmm.

I have reduced my daily sugar intake drastically eating a banana or apple to curb my sweet cravings but man oh man I can’t give up my coffee.. I tried just cream, it’s not my favorite. I take one single sugar in an XL coffee so I figure as long as I can keep the rest of my week fairly clean that one Monday morning sugar is ok.

I have an appointment on Wednesday for ultrasound #3 on this knee-a-saurus of mine. Hopefully they can remove whatever it is that is causing me this pressure. My GP thinks the durolane injection somehow created a bakers cyst (fluid buildup in my bursa) and if that is the case that would be GREAT, because they can drain it and I’ll be back to normal, which isn’t half as bad as what I have to work with now.

Limping around for the past three + weeks (4 weeks on Thursday coming) is certainty putting me in check. I know that if I don’t take care of my RA (Rheumatoid Arthritis) limping and crutches and swelling just like this will be my future. I’m not going to let that happen to me. I will do everything in my power to prevent that from happening. It’s 0% fun.. I get so frustrated with myself that I can’t bend or maneuver how I usually do. Do you know what the hardest thing to do is, out of every task I have difficulty with, getting myself dressed is the hardest. First thing in the morning I’m challenged, I’m frustrated, I’m tired and hungry and coffeeless and I have to try and do the hardest thing possible, great right? Actually yes it is, I don’t mind a challenge. I don’t mind being pushed a little even if it’s in the morning. Let’s get that over with so the rest of my day can be fabulous. I have been limping on the treadmill, I tried the elliptical last night but my knee doesn’t have that range of motion yet… I’m working on it.

I have a very hard time sleeping lately, I was hoping the reduction in sugar would help that. I am working towards cutting it out completely, maybe it will help then. During the night I get woken up often with pain. Stiff, sore shoulders and knees… I wish they would give people with¬†RA¬† a “body mover” for when we are sleeping so we wouldn’t get stiff… maybe I will invent that. Last night I was up 4 times for approximately 15 minutes each. My husband is quite the “sleep snuggler” so I find that when he is cuddling me don’t really move so I get super stiff. Small price to pay for premium snuggles I guess. Do any of you find staying sedentary harder on your body than keeping moving?

Weekend¬†sugar¬†intake was moderate,¬†I had two glasses of wine and one piece of birthday cake for my best friends birthday on Saturday. The table was full of neverending snacks and sweets, eclairs and chocolate spreads for fruit and cakes….. I had one small piece of bday cake…so that’s ok I think. Today is the start to a new week, with a whole new set of challenges I’m ready for!!

Chin up, chest out, let’s do this!!



Just Keep Swimming..

So today I woke up and I couldn’t bend my leg. I don’t mean fully bend it but I couldn’t even bend it a little. My husband said I should take it easy today and left for work. What did I do? Took the dogs for a walk, then went for a bike ride. At first it started out as a one legged bike ride, but after a bit I was able to bend it enough to put my foot on the pedal. It felt like my knee was going to burst open but I managed and as I went along it got easier. 

He says I’m stubborn, I think I’m determined. Sitting and resting all day isn’t my idea of fun. With my arthritis I get sore if I sit still too long so in my mind, the key to the game is to keep moving.

I did some baking when I got home and then weeded my garden. I feel good! Minus one very swollen knee. But that’s not news.

For dinner tonight I’ll be heading back to the garden for everything except the chicken. It feels so good to grow and eat your own food! I just love it.

Happy Friday everyone!!!!

Round Two!!

So I went to my family doctor about this knee-a-saurus right here and apparently my body has rejected the lubrication injection they put in three weeks ago so I have to get it sucked back out. I am frustrated to say the least. I find it hard to bend so exercise other than walking is pretty much out of the question. 

My doctor was quite upset when she heard the surgeon said he wanted to wait two more years before he replaces my knee due to my age. See the issue is they don’t really have much data on what happens after 15 years with a knee replacement. Do I get another one? Does it continue to work fine?  Does it cause damage to my Tybia and Femur? The life expectancy in a knee replacement is 15 years, I guess I’ll be in another study then.. SUPER!!

All I know right now is my quality of life is not that if a 35 year old. It sucks trying to lose weight and not being able to move. 

The no sugar went good yesterday! Like actually good. I was so proud of myself. 

I hope you all have a great day!! Off to make (and not eat) banana loaf for my kiddo… 


Creaky Joints


This morning when I woke up I could barely bend my knee it’s so swollen. See for those of you who don’t know what Rheumatoid Arthritis, or Rheumatoid Disease is, let me explain. In the simplest form, my immune system is eating my body. My immune system sees things in my body as bad, and it attacks until there is nothing left. So literally, my immune system is trying to fight off…..¬†my body. It kinda sucks and causes me a lot of pain and swelling. Great excuse not to exercise right?


(So these are my knees, other than the obvious issue with spacing here the white lines under the gap is arthritis deterioration. It’s not terrible, but it’s there and it makes me sore)




The problem is I shouldn’t be lazy, I feel much better when I am moving and being active.. If I stay still too long I get sore and stiff and I swell… where as if I am active I get sore and stiff and I swell, but the bonus is, the next day after being active, I’m not stiff… I feel good. So that should be my motivation to keep moving right? But go ahead and ask me what I did last night… go ahead ask me…

Last night I made dinner, pork chops and salad and carrots from my garden, then I sat on my butt and played on my phone… yup. Why? Because I was sore… but if I had moved my arse I’d be in better form today…¬† I need help with the moving part… but the no sugar part is going GREAT! That’s a lie actually, it’s hard… and I ate a freezie last night… ok I had two but they were little… ugh.. ok they weren’t little but do you know what? I’m not giving up today.. I’m starting fresh.. I got this!! I would have usually had a cookie at tea time and I didn’t, I would have usually had desert after dinner and I didn’t, that’s a win in my books… so yes. No sugar is going …… maybe GOOD instead of GREAT.

No sugar is going good!!